A New Chapter- Companionship 

 

 Adjacent to my balcony is hers! When the sun rays reaches her, she gradually moves to the balcony on a wheel chair, sometimes on her own. A beautiful girl with cropped hair. She observes things outside, she gazes the cows passing by, the sabjiwalas, the children in the park, at the sky, all and everything around. Sometimes my son waves his hand and she reverts the same. Almost every day I could see her mother taking her to the only place she could explore, her balcony. Being a mother of a two year old, initially that frames portrayed so grey for me. I was sad for that! I would cook up stories within my mind on what would have happened to her. But for a long time, I did not go deep to find the answer. Anyways I felt a kind of positivity just because, despite all this situation, her mother would take care of her so nicely and they looked happy! 

 One day, during a painting class, one of my students, also her cousin, happened to talk about her. Kanjan in her 20’s is bounded with beauty, innocence and extreme willpower to do anything that makes her happy. She is diagnosed with cerebral palsy, a disorder that affects brain. And she loves painting! That night I googled what is all about this disorder and kept scrolling some of the articles. I couldn’t keep on reading because to be frank I felt so disappointed with the reality of the lives. I closed all the tabs and shared about this to my husband. I felt disturbed! 

I really wanted to go and meet her once but I was too doubtful about how would they take it or a kind of weird anticipations as I was a new person for them. I didn’t want to put them in an uncomfortable situation while meeting up someday! But I really wanted to meet her one day. But again, all these hesitant thoughts kept popping inside. 

 Some days later, I and her mother happened to meet at our neighbours function. I could just smile then. She asked “Can you teach my child some art? She will love doing it” and invited us to her home. That moment I realized how bounded I was these many days with so much of awkward thoughts. My thoughts stayed so narrow in front of theirs. I felt guilty that I shouldn’t have waited for her to request that! 

A few days later, I met Kanjan. She has beautiful eyes! She was smiling and within no big time that stranger image melted off and we started talking like we knew each other for a long time. She hardly pronounced words. My son felt so happy because this Covid has brought his world to a smaller circle (everybody's though) where we hardly visits any house! He started playing and felt like home. Her mother shared how helpless they were at times. The only thing what they could do as parents is accept what her child is, and believe that she would improve, improve and improve. 

From there onwards started a new chapter in my life. A complete phase choked with so much emotions except sympathy! All her mother requested to me is some time for her. To keep her engaged with what I know! She requested to take my son along so that her child would feel happy. Yes, by now thamburu has become a happy thing for her. She keeps calling his name a ten times in an hour. 

Not a great teacher enough to teach students but I always wanted to share what I know about what I am doing. I realize some people need some other people, even it could be strangers to keep their life moving. All I could see is a mother seeking for her daughter. They are keeping on searching what best they could provide their daughter. And with a pile of emotions stuffed in their hearts, act of acceptance and hope is the emotions that stays at the top, for now! And I am really so blessed to meet such people and realize that life is all about such great small things. I am so happy that my son is part of this. Here, even if I am teaching something to her, my son, instead, is self-taught about all these happenings!. Both are on learning process! and my husband is so well happy about it!!

So am I a teacher now? Well, I would love to call this as a great Companionship! Each and every person need a companion to share, love and improve! Moreover all they requested is some “valuable time” for her daughter. If I don’t find that little time for somebody who needed it desperately, I would probably miss the importance of time for the rest of my life. 

"Kanjan aur thamburu bhai bahan banjayega", her mother commented the other day. Yes, they are finding happiness from each other. We are companions now! And this so called “time” hopefully, could turned out to be the best time for him and for us! 

I am going back to that days when I was filled with hesitant thoughts about meeting her and visiting her home. I could have spent a little longer if I had a broader thought, if I had the guts to go and meet her just like that! I feel sorry for it now! Sometimes, such reluctance can be a spoiler for all the good things that has to be happened! 

Posing as her art teacher for now, we started off with a flower and a star. She managed to follow the dotted lines I drew and we coloured it red and blue. I am sure that the palette she has now is filled with all the beautiful colours! Let her paint whatever that comes between a flower and a star and beyond that. Let she paint the way she has to, like any other people on this planet does! 

Small things makes life beautiful! 

 Susuwrites

Pyre of dead dandelions

The days are in somber
Like a forest fire,
Pyres built in seconds
And souls wither like dry dandelions...

Fire is the only blaze i could see now,
Breaths just slip off,
Like a firestorm
Aghast to witness my turn!

Fresh dandelions were dancing yesterday
Never ever a breach built to protect,
All these days passed numb,
They will sway dead tonight!

Though the pyre prays for the death,
Men pray for the life,
Void is loud,
With betrayal, blames and dread!

Pokes of dry dandelions are way back,
I can see it in my sleepless nights,
Hide yourself in a pyre
Or why witness the wild dandelions kill you!

shutterstock

 

What is the big deal?       

Well, that’s a question arise every time when somebody asks me that clichéd question “How do you put all these together? “By both strangers and my loved circle too….That’s a really good question but unless wrapped in an accusation tone. So what are “all these “means?

Looking after my one year boy, all by myself when my husband is off to duty? Cooking? Taking up my household works? Creating art for my personal earning? Taking tuition class for my neighbourhood kids? Being a yoga tutor for my neighbourhood bhabhis and practicing them regularly? Growing my kitchen garden? Attending Hindi class on YouTube, talking to friends and family frequently? Travelling or …hmmm writing blogs?

Come on, This question puts a stiffen emotion on my face every time. Is it an accusation or appreciation? Personally, its quiet embarrassing that they(a minor group) are indirectly shooting out that I can’t possibly take up all these small little things because if I go for it, I would probably sacrifice or make due in duties of my life and that of my child and husband. Indirectly pointing out that I would miss out to take care of my child and husband amidst all these engagements of mine….Complete irony!

 I sometimes fail to cook, leave the clothes unwashed for a day or fail to clean the staircase and verandahs, and spend each leisure minute on my art piece hanged with due dates or just invest my time in something else, most probably with my kid, playing, giggling and sleeping…. But that’s okay, that’s okay to sit back if you really don’t feel like…It doesn’t seems like we are on due in duties… we are just being us and lively!

I am even stiffened when some of them say, “Is it really going hard? Take a break then!!

No, Not at all! This question arise, when they fix that our “all these” works are tiring and may put us to a frustrating sphere where we deny to do our real duties! I really want to shout out that the so called “all these” are whole heartedly chosen by me! They indeed make me full rather than make me tired. They keep on inspiring me live the same even amidst of downward ignorant questions like these…

I never think starting with these question in a negative anticipation would lead to a productive conversation where we talk beyond household works and what dishes we cook on daily basis. We love to talk that too, might be in the least priority! Beyond that, let’s talk about how really we are doing now, how creatively is the time spent? How beautifully the kids are influencing us? How effective is the workout section going on? How healthy are we? Or about the recent movies that we watched or about the next travel plans? Etc..etc… That will be a great conversation and would boost up a lot!

Women out there! You all, at least one time would have witnessed such a situation. Why are you doing such things unnecessarily, you got married, you got a baby, you are surrounded by a new family! You have to do a much more work related to them! Blah..blahh....

So what??? I am blissful that I have got all these but never ever these statements will mark the expiry of my little dreams! Undoubtedly I am a proud women who is capable of juggling all these together and grow a beautiful family. I am independent and I am dependent too… I am strong and weak too, I dream of fairytales even now, but aware of the reality too. I love to balance it as the life goes.. I would say, just go with it. Explanations would sometimes fail but just hang back, do what you really feel like. Because at the end of the day if your duties aren’t making you happy or satisfied, doing the same duty over the years would drive you mad. That would give a void past when you turn back.

 I am so happy and fortunate that my women circle is a bunch of productive minds who keeps exploring. We inspire each other! I happily say that , yes, I juggle it all together so happily, so deliberately, so selfishly, for myself means the close mix of people I live for too….

What’s the big deal in it when women out there is doing magnificent!!

(This piece of writing happened after witnessing a women who is prohibited to live her own life the way she is dreaming of....and we know that's a sad truth revolving over years!)

Susuwrites…

 small things makes life beautiful....

Our “wombed” season………….

My craving towards kids is a windy story. Right from the age of 12, kids were part of me, mostly all the nephews and nieces. I was officially tagged as the most deserving pampering nurse of the family.

Touching the pink little fingers at shopping malls and public premises gave a notion of happiness always. I would try kissing them if situation permits, despite of who they are and what they are! I found happiness in lying to unknown shopkeepers if they asks “Is this your baby?”

Time is just taking its flight! And now it’s my season! Our season. Our “wombed season”!

I am not sure about penning down this “now” because everybody are usually tensed until we get a cry in hand! I do not ignore the same in my case but I feel like doing this. Because these are small things I treasure, no matter what happens in future. This moment makes us happy! I could probably make my champ read this when time again takes its flight forward!

…… 5.30 A.M! Alarm, the most perfect worker of all times, continuously screeched near our ears.. I lay down for another ten minutes consoling my mind!  That day I had to wear a saree to school. Kannan helped me to drape it. Unlike the other days, immense laziness and weakness took control over me. I started sweating all through my body. Without taking this response from my body into consideration, we moved on to school. The Verandas seemed so dull and out of seconds, I almost fainted my way out to the class. Immediately my colleagues arranged a vehicle and informed Kannan. We rushed to the hospital and then to home. A normal tiring day, said the doctor. He said to check “pregnancy” after one week!

Excitement? No. Anxiety? No. we were emotionless as I was too tired to make out what I really felt like. We decided to get a pregnancy kit when we came to our normal track. The tempo of our heart beat rhythmed a little faster. I was quiet hesitant to watch the kit turning red, out of anxiety. Then, pushing all the confusions out of the frame, the two pink lines appeared!

“Are we pregnant?” Yes we were! 31 March 2019, made the most loved day!

Rest goes into the private emotional frames that every familiar couples would have gone through….

I wanted to let know my friends and family this and I chose to make a random painting which took just 10 minutes to make the scratch! I painted a lady with a garden bloomed in her stomach. Many of them recognized my intension….My first painting out of immense happiness….

Our “wombed” season starts here…

I knew all about pregnancy and stuffs, I guessed… But when it happened to me, I literally did not know how to start with or what to do. I was acting little weird for the first few days. It took another few days to realize that I carry an extra rhythm of life within.

Priorities, routines, likes, dislikes, tastes, emotions and our body….everything changed overnight!

For first three months, it was quite difficult for me to adjust the situation. Though I really wanted to experience it happily, severe vomits and dizziness made less chance for it. Heavy mood swings made embarrassing moments!

That day when we saw our heartbeat for the first time during scanning, our happiness knew no bounds. To be precise, we were expressionless! We diagnosed the report all through the late night, “though the size of our baby was just a tiny dot”!

One day, when I imagined how baby would be forming, how the baby look like in future and what might the baby doing right then, I decided to paint! I painted our baby in a canvas, sleeping in a meadow, surrounded with green and clouds. Resting, calmly and the nature caressing her. That was the first image I got when I shut my eyes to make a frame! It is indeed special to me, always.

Day passed by, and my body started showing off the existence of the baby in me. I switched on to Kannan’s t shirt all the time when I was at home. On June 15, during a morning, while I was rushing around the kitchen, something tickled within. It was new to me! I remember I would eagerly touch all the bellies of my sisters, friends etc just to feel a movement and I would go crazy when I get one by chance. From all the bellies of my surroundings, I believe!

 But this is happening to ME now!!!

 I felt a hiccup feeling inside my belly for the first time. For next 10 seconds it continued and I wondered my baby started moving inside!!!

That was the moment that put a start to a “movement season”. Then, day by day, I would wait for that little tickling.

Responding to our actions seemed quiet magical to me, every time…

One day, I was in class X where students almost peeled my head out of mischief acts. I took my maximum sound to make them calm and continue the lesson but they kept on irritating. At a point, I calmed down and moved straight to the most arrogant one and left a fine slap on his back. All were suddenly quiet! The class became calm, baby realized that something had happened outside. The baby kicked a little harder towards my lower stomach. That was the first fine so called “KICK” I felt. Instantly, after the kick, I started smiling, though the students were quiet shocked for some time!

The next most interesting responding time is between 9 pm to 10 pm when the baby hears the sound of Kannan. He calls, sings and make weird sounds to wake up the baby and later slowly baby starts responding for next few minutes…leaving a great relief that he/she is safe at the end of this day!

So that is the routine for now. Each day is a relief!

Yay!! I am half way now!!

On July 20, was our first detailed check up to see all the baby parts in detail. When I lay down on the scanning bed, Kannan wasted no wink from the scanning monitor. Doctor diagnosed each part and I saw Kannan smiling with wet eyes. Unfortunately I couldn’t see this myself in “live”. The reports of detailed face, tiny legs and hands made our day. The baby was comfortably lying with the hands right upon the head….How advanced and magical, great gods!

It’s all wonder even if we think about it a thousand times over and over….how creatively and interestingly it has been designed. How perfect and content and how happily and peaceful. Yes, it is right that these “wombed season” will surely teach us many things.

We are happy even if we deliberately avoid the most favorite foods, happy to be restricted, when we start thinking twice for each and every actions, when we sleep in the most uncomfortable position at nights, still happily. Kannan without delay of seconds would wake up when I take my difficult turns during the sleep. It wondered me because earlier the case was not the same! I had to enter his ears to wake him up!! Changes are great, sometimes!!

Our routine changes, our talk’s changes. May be that be the reason we say “wombed season” puts you in a different pace of life where we start thinking of the little heart always , in parallel beautifying the existing lifestyle!

Small things always makes me happy! Though these are all normal happenings of this world, it is the most special moments in every “wombed season” of every mothers and mother to be!! We cherish it equally! I thought of my beloved sisters who took immense effort during this stage, my beloved friends who shared their experience each time during this stage  Once inside, are now waiting for the new arrivals, lovingly!!

Our “wombed season” continues...

Celebrating Differences!

My usual twilight hours are at our balcony where I could grasp one of the most charming sunset! Every day, on these hours, the hues of sky keeps changing from golden yellow to scarlet, then to shades of orange pink and then to tint of purple and ash. Most of the time, I settle here for my evening show. My sight encompasses the terraced houses, kids on top of it flying kites, one tree, shaped like an umbrella which stands midst of the houses, an orange flag that flips in the wind, a mobile tower, sabji (vegetable) selling women wearing bright Ghaghara and oxidized jewelries, northern plain grey langurs which prowl in large groups from one terrace to the other, a group of birds flocking to and fro from dawn to dusk and finally this boundless sky backing my frame!

The kids are already with their coloured kites! One or two on top of every terraces! They are practicing for the kite festival to be held in January! Beyond just flying it, intent is to cut other kites and make their kite rule the sky! Watching the show in live put me on nerves. The boys howls and screams when they cut down each other’s kite. It’s the game of high spirits………

…..Banswara, said to be the cherapunjee of Rajasthan is the place where Kannan (my husbandJ) chose to live when he got options of a transfer. A town, far beyond from the walls of city! A town with an unaltered character. A town, adherent to vagdi culture which is the mixture of gujaratis, malwi, rajasthani and mewari cultures. A scene unseen from the typical pictures of Rajasthan where there are no camels, no sand dunes, no mud coloured buildings, no parched lands! A town bordered with bamboo forests and farming is the major ocuupation, where the waters of Mahi river fills the heart of people and farmers, where Jains lives in majority, where people follow a Rajputana style of living!

Initial days were quiet embarrassing that I had to think thrice or more times to communicate to the locals here. The vagdi language abashed me that I took hours to recognize what they actually said. Learning to speak hindi became my priority! I was embarrassed with the shop keeper’s shocking face with my question of asking for eggs, I was embarrassed when we could find only one non-vegetarian hotel in and around our area! That was quite a disappointment because we were requested not to cook non-vegeterian food at our home. But that is okay!I was equally excited and embarrassed! Though not forcefully, I had entered into an ambience of differences!

Our place is quiet a silent one where noises of vehicles doesn’t influence the calm ambience. Early in the mornings the only sound spread is of the bells tied to the decorated cows. As an often adage “Aditi Devo Bhava”, every cow here are aditis. Every Ammajis of the houses would not fail to feed them with the leftover parathas and fruits! Most of the time they do not forget to get blessings from them! This is another embarrassing moment for people like us who loves eating beef, and treat cow as just an animal!

Later, I see bhabhis covering their head when they meet a man, stay away from the kitchen and ignore to sit on chairs and beds when they are on periods, who do not take rest for a while, instead engaged on works all the time I see them. They put large amount of makkas and lobias to dry on terraces, they prepare dough in machines to make pappads to consume in all meal times! They look happier for what they are and how they are! Adherent to strong traces of culture embarrass me for I come from a state where everything goes topsy-turvy! At the outset of all, what matters is how they treat people so amiably. Battiya and dal, parathas and kachodi became our new cuisines where idli dosa and appam delighted their tongues!! The bhabhis wish me to see in ghaghras and I wish to see them set mundu. They get me red choodiyas (bangles) and sindurs!

I, never expected that life would take me to this extent of differences. I smile at situations that life brings to us. I enjoy the experiences and realize that there is an aesthetic natural state in every nook and corner of the world where it prevails as it should be! We just become part of it for a while and experience things happening in life, small differences, small embarrassments, small explorations and a small realization that what a tiny space we occupy in this world!

I should probably get a kite and practice it, because it is a culture to fly kites from every house on Makara sankrati because we see differences in each other and we try celebrating the same!

Small things makes life beautiful!

Susuwrites!

That one day in Nepal

Bhoooooh!!! I, was, sliding from a steep snowy mountain. Flipping rapidly and my stomach felt the downward acceleration due to the gravity pulling me so hard. My spatial movements kept changing due to the increase in force. I felt the Adrenalin in my stomach. I screamed and I was nowhere to go and nowhere to stop, just falling so low. I, on spur of moment, thought about my beloved ones who might be waiting for me. What would people say to them? That I just slipped from a steep mountain and died? No, that will be even more dreadful! What about the dreams I weaved so many years about my future?  I murmured to myself, please help me, let me stuck somewhere, with some life pitying on me. I just rolled, hurting. My life is gone, am so sorry! Am so sorry, I thought, and I was about to thrash onto the ground. I just shut my eyes so strong that I shouldn’t witness my scary death!! I apologized to my body and soul!

It was 2’0 P.M in a cozy room of Kathmandu Gardens, one of the vintage hotels in Nepal. I, all of a sudden, opened my eyes, sweating so badly though the weather was deep chill outside. I was aghast about the dream I just slipped out from. It was a dream! I grinned! I had to bank on my blanket and rewind the dream, so many shots and scenes, just like a Hollywood horror action thriller, almost nailing the character into death!

 I kept my eyes open and thought about the day when I asked permission to travel to Nepal to my father.

 He said “Nepal? So far? I can allow you if you throw a satisfying answer to me.” I agreed upon and he asked “Would you be adventurous or a good traveler?” I chose “good traveler.”

A good traveler! I swiftly shut my eyes…..

 “Good traveler”? Is there a term “a good traveler?”. No. Just a “traveler” who ought to be good on his travel. Yes, I will be apparently a traveler because Nepal happened for a reason. I had to escape from thoughts haunting me. I wanted to bring me out from a betrayal ditch and make me believe that life is still beautiful!

I do not want this to turn into a travelogue or a minute list of what I was doing the whole eight days in Nepal! I just wanted that one day in Nepal to pen down, to share and let know!

Though that eight days gave the most beautiful days in my life, that one day gave the toughest day in my life till date. Just toughest until it turned out to be the opposite!

Fortunate? Unfortunate? Might vary to different eyes!

It was that last night, when we were packing our bags to come back to India, I found that I had already lost my one and only possible Identity card somewhere in Nepal. I grew icy. I searched all nook and corners of my surroundings but, yes, I had really lost it. I have lost many things before but this was something very crucial to solve about especially when I did not own a passport.

It was already late night to go out and search all way I had passed. After so many useless discussions, I paused at “What next?” The only option is to register a complaint and seek help at the Indian Embassy. That was not the actual problem. My co-travelers have to leave the next day. I was a bit upset on what to do in a country not familiar to me, language not familiar to me. Okay, I thought, I came here to lose myself over and here it has happened. I slipped into my bed with no less thought. All kind of questions, I’ll miss my flight, I have to manage it all by myself with no sufficient money I have, with no mobile to communicate. Like a chick cracking its shell, I had to crack myself from the comfort zone and forced me to think what next.

I did not know when did I sleep and to my wonder I did not remember any dreams that I should have seen at such situations rolling in my life. All my friends were all set to go to the airport. Sadly, they bid a good bye with great positive words with worried faces.

So, it’s me then, alone at the hotel. The first thing I did was to collect my copy of the identity card from the receptionist. Hopefully, that copy might help me out, I thought! I locked up my bags in the clock room and requested the receptionist to help me out with a cab. With a few needed items, I got into the cab.

“Hi madam, Good morning” wished Aleex. He looked pleasant. He spoke a different slang of English. He was an Ukranian.

I requested him to drop me at the Indian Embassy. On wheels, I was wondering about the consequences of being careless and honestly I was playful thinking about how my friends would tease me telling this. I said Aleex that I lost my ID. Hearing on to the problem, he reminded me of the fact that I may not be able to travel back the same day.

Suddenly, my face turned dark. I started shedding tears. “Try your best madam, plead, they might consider” he said. I thought I was a bit bold when it comes to travel but proving wrong, i was afraid when I felt alone.

“Madam, are you alright?” Politely, asked Aleex .

Sooner we reached the gate of the Indian Embassy. Three to four policemen inquired about my coming. I requested Aleex to wait and I rushed into the office. I was eased when I saw a tamilian officer at the entrance. He asked me not to worry and go inside to clear the temporary travel ID. With great anticipation, I went inside. There was a long queue with so many different people, all possessing a tensed face. After a few minutes, got my turn to ‘plead.’

“Sorry madam, you can’t travel today. You have to wait until tomorrow for the temporary travel ID” said a strict officer wearing a big turban and with a rude mustache.

I pleaded with the exact reason that I had no people connected in this city.  He shouted at me and forced to give way to the next rushing seekers.

Tomorrow? That can’t happen! Where would I stay? What will I tell to my parents? How will I manage with less money? All these questions took a pause when I heard a loud voice. It was the same man I hated the most at the moment. I ran to him expecting an answer favourable to me.

“Pay an amount of 1000 Nepali Rupee and get your receipt. Come tomorrow by 10 AM and you can get your travel ID” Dot

Tears rolled again and again. The tamilian officer tried to put his soothing words but nothing geared my head. “Don’t worry, madam” he said.  But I must worry because I had only 300 nepali rupee with me and a few Indian currency. I rushed to Aleex and requested him to take me to any of the atm centres.

I tried pulling cash but failed so many times. To my misfortune, I came across the most betraying facts on my atm card “Not valid for payment in Foreign Exchange in Nepal and Bhutan”

With no phone I had no idea what to do next because life has eased out things so far with all necessary things right near to me whenever I needed. This kind of incident has never happened to me. I was stuck! I stood for a while. The only light of hope was showered on Aleex who was waiting for me in the cab. I got into the car and with a straight face I asked “Aleex, I am stuck here with no cash in hand, I have to pay an amount of Rs 1000 Nepali Rupee here and I couldn’t use the card. Can I borrow it from you?”

He immediately searched his purse and managed to give me what I asked for. I thanked him   with still tears shedding. I rushed into the office and paid my fee and got the receipt. Okay, work done and what next?

I asked Aleex to go back to the Hotel. On the way back, I had no idea of how will I return his borrowed money. I was preparing to convince him or I even made sure that my gold ring is right in my finger. Overthinking had dried out the fuel in my head. I remained silent.

We reached at the Hotel!

Sometimes, situations take us to a cliff that we think the only option is to jump. But many a times, something magical happens and life gives a chance.

I saw Mr and Mrs Salik, the organizers of our tour to Nepal, waiting for me at the lounge. By the time, I have started to adapt to the situation. The first thing I asked her was to help me with 1000 nepali Rupee. She immediately took out the purse and gave the money. I ran to Aleex. I gave a hug and I said Thank You and handed over the money along with the money i had. He was kind enough to inquire about my savings to survive that day. Though a big No, I said “YES”.  “Madam, be ready at 10 AM tomorrow, I will come and pick you up to the Embassy”he smiled.

When I was stuck with my current situations, he already took effort to make me think of going home the next day. Great man he was!

I rushed back to the lounge and explained what had happened in the great Indian Embassy.

Using the hotels wi-fi connection, I called one of my bestie and asked to transfer an amount to Mr Saliks account. Within minutes he did that for me. Mr Salik, when got credited, gave me the cash in hand to make me feel safe. By the time, my another bestie booked my flight tickets for the next day. You know, that’s why they are tagged “Besties”. Almost most of the problems were solved by then.

I felt relaxed. Then the situation seemed fortunate to me. I got one more day in Nepal to roam around, experience people like Aleex and most importantly experience the aloneness! With not a single familiar face, I started walking through streets.   

I visited Mr and Mrs Saliks home. I had traditional drinks and food, I met people, I felt the cold, I walked, observed, and I was happy that I got lost.

Here the golden words from Alchemist go so apt “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”

I wouldn’t have got a chance to dump the thoughts that haunted me if this aloneness chance had not happened. I would return happy as any tourists, with memories of Nepal. But some other time, thoughts may peep out leaving myself unclear.

Aloneness was healthy! Aloneness brought smile! Aloneness makes us think more, realize that this is what life is all about!

I slept tight with great belief that no thoughts will ever bother me again! The next day, as promised, I saw Aleex waiting for me at the Hotel. He greeted me with a great smile. With all set, we drove to the embassy to collect my temporary travel ID. The strict mustached man handed over the slip and said “Sorry for the inconvenience. If I were partial to you, do you think the people behind you would accept it?” I just smiled and rushed to see the tamilian officer. I thanked him for his nice words when needed. With temporary Id safe in my hand I got into the car.

“To the airport , madam? Asked Aleex.

He knew it! We had a long conversation on how he reached Nepal from Ukrain. Chased out of poverty and hunger, he started his race in life. He joined as a cab driver in Nepal. Though faced with a lot of bitter emotions, he has gripped to humanity!

He drove into the shortcut and narrow roads of Nepal streets to show me more. I saw locale dimensions of typical Nepal. Wasn’t I fortunate?

By 12 PM, I reached the airport. I seriously did not know how to thank Aleex. He took my luggage out of the cab. I wish to see him when chance put me there once again!

I got into the flight. Past 7 days had been beautiful but past one day was just Happy for me. Thoughts over rolled on human beings, situations that prove that we are human ‘BEINGS’. I saw Nepal so small under my vision and was happy that my identity is somewhere resting in the land of NEPAL!

Who knew that my dream at the opening scene could be an instinct and wanted to tell me that before thrashing on to the ground you had chance to slip just like that with the help of people I do not know!

Yes, I was a traveler. The last one day has proved it to be! Lost in Nepal for a day was a small incident but small things makes life beautiful!

-          Susuwrites/ Nepal Diaries/

Green Cycles!

It was in my 8th grade when my puberty designated me as Woman. Right from the beginning, period gave me immense pain, for that could be the reason that I hated periods. One day, during the college days, I happened to read "Book of Women" penned by Osho, which gave a genuine answer to all my inner queries. Until that day, my periods seemed to be nuisance. I came to know that my body is performing something much more responsibly, like it's meant to!

Now, periods have fixed the primary issue of why that happens to me but the greater problem exists till now! During my master studies, one day my hostel warden burst out, insulting us when she cleaned up the stuck sewage pipes, with a heap of pad wastes nearby. For the first time, I felt so guilty and thought about the environmental impact of the endless number of disposal pads every month I use but as every single girl, that guiltiness was easily overlapped with chit chat sessions.

But now, at this age, I seriously started worrying on the impact that my period cycle is having on our earth planet! Thoughts burdened that over millions of our girls including me become shamelessly part of it! At the other end, periods are unimaginable without disposal sanitary pads for women today!

On these suffocating confusions, on one of my nature camps, I heard a participant talking about the future revolution  "Menstrual Cups". I and my friends where very much bothered about the awkward process of inserting it! We ignored to give ear on further information and just stood calm in our our comfort zone (much similar to most of the girls do now)!

Realization happened now when I decided not to contribute 2400 pads to my earth, for next 10 years , replacing it with my menstrual cups! Initially, as said before I was so bothered about the process and the pain I had to endure. "Come on girl, how long you beat around the bush"?" Everything has a beginning! Change has a beginning! and I endured a little pain for a great beginning. I was done with a happy period with no cramping and bloating, with no wrappers and waste rolls. I was happy for me but consciousness kept questioning "Really happy for nature?" No, definitely not when 1,13,000 tonnes of menstrual waste is disposed annually to the same earth!

I am definitely not an agent to advertise on menstrual cups, but I am solidly responsible to give awareness to all my co-girls. There are lots of products healthy and degradable napkins available but I strongly believe that the Real Green Winner would seem to be Menstrual Cups which generates ZERO WASTE. They have never been popular and they will not in future though. It can fortunately crash the corporate when it comes to the Open world of women!

That is where, is our role to generate the importance of it. I would rather not say that it could be really comfortable for all, but one can leave the comfort zone and make a try for they might work wonderful and you may help the nature on your own way and really make a world better place to live on without our own plastic wastes! Let the change happen within us!

Have a really Happy and Responsible Period and run your Green Cycles!

GREEN THE RED!

Sudhina/ Susuwrites